Lower back pain
So much has happened since my post two weeks ago that I couldn’t possibly detail it all here. So I’ll just try to summarize the situation as it is right now.
The good news is that there’s no pain in my skull, head, right
rib area, right elbow, or right arm. That’s probably due partially to an oral
steroid (Dexamethasone 4mg twice daily to reduce brain swelling) and a strong
oral narcotic (Percocet four times daily). But the main pain fighters for those
areas are radiation treatments. I get two radiation treatments every Monday
through Friday for ten treatments: one to my brain and skull, the other to my
right upper rib area. The purpose of those treatments is strictly to relieve
pain. I’ll get my fifth treatment tomorrow (Monday the 14th) and my final treatment
Monday the 21st.
However, I’ve developed excruciating pain in my lower back
and neither the meds nor the radiation treatments have been effective there.
That pain really kicks in when I attempt to get out of bed, get into or out of
the car (Joanie drives), stand up from a sitting position, or especially get
off the radiation treatment table. It makes me feel like such a wimp, but those
activities often bring me to tears and sometimes even to screaming or sobbing,
which is very unusual for me. We’ve been told that one of the meds may be
affecting my reaction to pain as well as to other emotional events.
I had a CT scan of my lower back last week and fortunately it
seemed to rule out metastatic cancer lesions as the cause of the lower back pain.
I’m scheduled for MRIs of my cervical, thoracic, and lumbar spine Friday morning
and am very hopeful they will point to the cause and a solution for that pain.
After the radiation treatments, I’ll have an option to begin
chemo (again). This would be a different chemo drug than I had in April and
May. The goal of these every-three-weeks chemo treatments would be to lengthen
my life but we don’t know for how long. The disadvantage is that there could be
very unpleasant side effects. We’ll have
to decide at that time if risking the side effects justifies the possible increase
in life. At this point, there’s no chance of curing the cancer short of a miracle.
Joanie has been such an amazing blessing through all of this!
She’s taken over doing most of the chores I’m no longer able to do. She runs
all the errands. She prepares or purchases all our food and meals. She’s
constantly looking for solutions to the pain issues. She prays for me. I know
this has to be really stressful for her but she never complains. And I feel SO
guilty that she has to deal with me dealing with pain. I think that’s the very
worst part of it for me.
This has become a serious issue for me with my faith. God keeps bringing verses to mind like the following:
- Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7)
- Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; (Proverbs 3:5)
- Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7)
- But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and
all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will
worry about itself. (Matthew 6:33-34)
- The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. (Deuteronomy 31:8)
Yet I have trouble even praying. Trusting God to see Joanie
and me through this is, well, I’m not sure I even know what “trusting God”
means any more. A couple weeks ago Joanie and I met with some of the Elders and
leaders of our church; they prayed over us and it was a very powerful and
moving experience. But the pain continues and we don’t understand why. What are
we supposed to learn from this experience? How are we supposed to use this experience
to bless and serve others? I think of Christian mentors I’ve had in my life and
wonder how they would handle it. How would trusting God manifest itself in
their lives if God took them through something like this? At this point, how do
I live my life in a way that is pleasing to God and to Joanie?
Ken;
ReplyDeleteMary and I just want to let you know that we are praying for both you and Joanie. Having just read your last update I feel so lost for words that I can only go to the LORD and pray for HIS comfort and healing. Although our friendship was just beginning as we had only met at CROSSINGS CHURCH recently, we so enjoyed the fellowship that we shared with you and Joanie.
Please let us know how we may be of help during this difficult time. Being retired our time is mostly free and we would be pleased to help in any way. We will continue to pray for both of you and trust in JESUS our LORD.
Love in CHRIST
Bob & Mary Flinchbaugh
Thank you so much! Ken and I, too, have enjoyed our friendship, however brief it has been. We really appreciate your offer to help, and we will keep your offer in mind if we need something. In the meantime, please keep praying for us. That is the best thing anyone can do for us right now.
DeleteTrusting together with you,
Ken and Joanie